Weekend O' Fun and Love

Here's a joke I heard the other week...its humour may not survive the oral-to-written exchange, but hopefully it will put a smile on your face.


A man had recently fallen on hard times and was feeling quite bad about his situation. One day he walked into town and saw a sign in the window of a pet shop that read, 'Talking Centipede -- £5000'. He thought that it might be quite a laugh to have a talking centipede who could keep him company and maybe earn him a bit of money on the side. He bought the centipede and took it home waiting for it to say something to him, but the centipede was quiet on the way home. At home he thought it might be nice to take the centipede out for a drink to celebrate and so he said to the centipede, "Fancy going down to the pub for a pint?" The centipede said nothing. The man, who thought that maybe the centipede didn't hear him said in a louder voice, "Fancy Going Down To The Pub For A Pint?" The centipede still said nothing and the man was starting to think he had been had for a fool by buying this centipede and was planning to take it back to the pet shop. Finally, he leaned his head over the side of the box that the centipede had come in and shouted, "I SAID, DO YOU FANCY GOING DOWN TO THE PUB FOR A PINT?!?" The centipede merely looked up at the man and said, "I heard you the first time, I was just putting on my shoes." --Thanks to Mimi for that joke.